How much detail do you need to provide an effective description? Generally speaking, I’m a fan of choosing words that have added value — nouns that have subliminal adjectives, if you will.

Huh? Think about the distinction between walk and shuffle. The first is neutral, the second creates a more complex mental picture. And, a lot of the time, that option will serve you well. Think also of car vs roadster, tree vs mangrove, fabric vs cheesecloth. Get the idea?

There are times though, when directing the audience’s attention to the class of nouns, rather than a specific instance, works better though. This realisation came when I was toying with an imaginary blues song — never mind why — and found that the title Dog Fightin’ Woman worked best.

In that instance, all we need to know is a woman is fighting dogs. That alone creates a gruesome/comic scene, and the particulars of whether the canines are mastiffs or collies matters a lot less. There are all kinds of nuances — a woman fighting poodles ups the comedy, if she’s pitted against labradors it makes her sound more cruel, etc — that threaten to spoil the purity of Dog Fightin’ Woman.

Now, the concept having played in my head for a few hours, I’m wondering if a B movie can be created from the title. What sort of woman would find herself matched against canines? At this point, I’m picturing someone who tabloids would run social services horror stories about. A tattooed lady reduced to brawling with beasts to feed her children, since her brute of a husband spends all their money on drink.

Clearly, this piece of social realism needs to be handled with some sensitivity. I understand Warp X were running a scheme aimed at grooming female horror directors, and I’m sure one of my female director pals would love to collaborate on a dog-fighting yarn with a woman protagonist.

Update: Never one to overlook a marketing opportunity, I’m planning to lease the title Dog Fightin’ Woman to Nick Cave. The words conjure up a brute world that he could sculpt a fine song from, and I’m happy to talk to him about using it as the title piece for the movie. He can have a cameo too, perhaps as a moody one-eyed gambler. Yes, this is starting to happen for me now. Not in the zone yet, but pretty near.

Yeah, Nick Cave for the soundtrack and a cameo. And for the heroine herself, how about Amy Winehouse? With her tats and tousled beehive, she looks like she’s just done ten rounds with a Great Dane already, and she needs a project of this calibre to get her life back on track. Note: get her to duet with N.C.

This is just the sort of story the British industry needs. Fuck your zombie films and historical romances, a pox on your football yob fantasies and coming-of-age dramas: people want edgy violence with a twist, and Dog Fightin’ Woman delivers on every level.

Damn. When I’m good, I’m good, you know?

Now the question is what my role models will be. A title as direct as Dog Fightin’ Woman needs an unambiguous style of writing and direction. This is a perfect project to channel my admiration for the work of Alan Clarke, whose Scum portrayed borstal life so powerfully. A bit of research on women players in the dog-fighting scene and I too can create a piece of searing authentic drama.

I don’t need research to create the structure for the story though. The Ordinary World for our heroine needs to be one of grime and squalor, before an Inciting Incident which raises the prospect of fighting dogs to escape her social misery and personal demons. Not sure of the precise question that Inciting Incident raises, but it can be addressed through the second act, which features fights of increasing savagery, before she is faced with a bout that could see her clear her debts and maybe buy the washing machine she’s always craved — only, social services get wind of what’s going on and threaten to take her children away on the day of the fight. Can she face down a 15 stone rottweiller and save her kids from being fostered? Something of that sort anyway.

I’ll stop while I’m on a roll. Besides, I don’t want to give all my secrets away. Just remember, when you see posters for Dog Fightin’ Woman, that this is where it all started.