I totally know who Diablo Cody is.  Yes, I know you’ve all heard she’s the stripper-turned screenwriter who wrote Juno.  And I heart her for that, I really do: Juno is fresh and funny and has dialogue that sizzles and under all that wit it aches and sighs like people ache and sigh, which is much more than most American comedies do, intent as they are on extracting the chuckles without reference to actual human emotion as experienced by actual humans.

Diablo Cody wrote Juno, it is true.  But more importantly, she wrote herself.  I’m doubting very much that Mr and Mrs Cody christened her Diablo, you know?  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Ms Cody has very smartly made the career move of becoming a brand, and it’s paid off for her. 

Commentators are already speaking of Diablo as one of Hollywood’s Top Ten screenwriters after one film, and while her peers are still on strike.  It’s like me proclaiming myself to be the leading cathedral ceiling painter of the 21^st century, knowing it’s unlikely I’m going to get the chance to put that claim to the test.  Diablo will: signs are that the writers’ strike will end soon, and then she’ll have to make her mark with other scripts.  Or become famous for being a screenwriter who doesn’t actually get round to writing, which seems to be the gambit that keeps Harlan Ellison at the forefront of so many sf fans’ minds, when the contentious coot barely publishes and is famous more for his spats (arguments, not gangster-themed footwear accessories).

Diablo will, I’m sure, continue to write incisive scripts, and become a micro-celebrity in her own right.  It’s what she seems to want, and she’s got the talent to do so with legitimacy.  Whether that will make her happy, or whether she’ll become another sex-industry relic with daddy issues and a yen for substances, who knows? 

Hopefully not: if the script for Juno is anything to go by, she’s got a Mac G5 of a mind and a heart in the right place, so let’s hope she doesn’t go the Courtney Love route.  In fact, I can imagine her making a film with a part for Courtney as the raddled old stripper being a mother hen to the younger girls.  It pretty much writes itself, or at any rate the synopsis does, and Diablo’s got the life experience to bring to it that I, dedicated as I am to cathedral ceilings, just don’t have.

Anyway, inspired by Diablo’s success, I’m having a close look at my own brand.  It’s clear that a makeover is needed.  Youdothatvoodoo is a snappy name, and the site is generating work for me directly and indirectly, but as youdothatvoodoo’s ambassador in the real world I need more definition.  I’m thinking a zoot suit, available custom made in San Francisco and well worth the investment for the splash I’ll make at pitch days and the Cheltenham Writers’ Festival.  A haircut to go with it, easily researched.  And a name.  Diablo Cody has got a real snap to it: she could be an undercover agent in a Marvel comic with a name like that.  And I think I’ve got one that’ll work for me, and go with the zoot suit too.  See what you think.

Mephisto Villalobos